From years of unsolicited and painfully-frank feedback, I've been led to believe that I tend to tell the same few "entertaining" but disturbing anecdotes over and over again. Plus, as I get older, I've noticed that my stories have begun to wander off-track with some regularity. So much so in fact, that I've begun to refer to them as "The Tales of Tangental Ben."

So, to permanently record them for all posterity in a format as close to the truth as I can recall through hundreds of beer-hazed re-tellings, I thought I'd share some of the "highlights" with the few of you who've not already been so blessed (and to annoy those who've heard them all too many times before).

However, I warn you that what I've summed up below is nowhere near as humorous as hearing them directly from me in a bar. Some of these are excerpted from past Mark'sWorld issues, and no, not all of them involve alcohol. Come with me now and let's reminisce about the "good" old days...

Sick as a Dawg
The story of a young man, a bottle of 151 rum and their intimate relationship with a University of Washington drainage ditch.

Thank You Sir, May I Have Another?
The story of a young man, a bottle of tequila and their overly gung-ho Marine Corps friends.

Lord of the Flies [Mark'sWorld, Summer, 1995]
The story of a young man, his aural cavity and their intimate relationship with a large, flying insect.

Hi, This is Todd, What Are You Wearing Right Now?
The story of a young man, his obscene phone caller and their short-lived relationship.

Europe on $1.17 a Day [Mark'sWorld, Spring, 1996]
The story of a young man, his pulled-from-ass train schedule and their bar-tour of European cities.

Mele kalock-up [Mark'sWorld, Fall, 1998]
The story of a young man, his home-made bra and their field sobriety test.

Go to:    Mark'sWorld Home   |   Email Me!